Dennis's blog

As the literary critic and extreme snowboarder Lenny Fleur d' Lis wisely points out, "You can tell much of a person from the way they make a list, and even more from what they include in this list, and more, even, if you are able to read in the language in which they write." In the spirit of a Fleur d' Lisian inquiry, then, I turn to a brief study of the lists of various historical persons, passed down through the years, with the hope that understanding these lists will help us better understand the list-maker, and maybe ourselves, as well, or, moreso, even, overuse of, commas.

List # 1: Genghis Khan's "List of Things to Do Over Christmas, 1223 A.D."
1. Make christmas cookies (invite M. Polo to help decorate)
2. Dance through forest of candy canes ... in my mind!
3. Snuggle up with Genghis the Cat.
4. Pillage medium-sized village.

List #2: Woody Harrelson's "List of Shit to Take Care of and Shit, Christmas, 1994"
1. Figure out where all the ants are coming from.
2. Find someone really short and call him "shorty"--cheer me up.
3. Go camping with Matt McCaughnawhatever. (Bring beer and that dolphin meet)
4. Pillage medium-sized village.

List #3: Dennis Ostrem's "Christmas Honey-do List, 2006"
1. Win at P.R. Well, let's get real. Try to come in not last at least once.
2. Sleep with book on tummy.
3. Sleep with magazine on tummy.
4. Secure christmas tree to wall to prevent from tipping (NEED: duct tape, razer wire, ham sandwich, two spools of crate paper, and 14 gallons red paint).
5. Think of new brain teaser ... make it hard this time! Maybe involving two dragons and an argument over whether or not to take a shortcut!

List #4: Eric Ostrem's "Christmas Plans, 2006"
1. Win.

List #5: Madison Williams's "Ah-Wist" (2006)
1. Play.
2. Sleep.
3. Compliment Eric's sense of pizzazz and style.
4. Poo while near Jon. Waft.

List #6: Evan and Ryan's "List of Future Accomplishments, 2006"
1. Learn to play basketball (forget water sports!)
2. Learn the Cal Fight Song (the best song ever!)
3. Go to Cal.
4. Write book: "The Cal Fight Song is to Songs What Phil's is the BBQ"


AND NOW: A QUIZ!!!! CAN YOU TELL WHICH ONE IS MATTHEW MCCAUGHNEEWAHEY AND WHICH ONE IS GENGHIS KHAN???? CAN YOU???